4. EVALUATING MUHAMMAD'S MANY MARRIAGES

THE WIVES OF THE PROPHET AT MEDINA

Shortly before his emigration to Medina Muhammad lost Khadija,
his only wife at Mecca. The marriage had been a sound and happy
one and had lasted twenty-five years. Her death, however, was to
cause a total change in his home life so that a growing number
of wives were to be added until there were at least nine at the
time of his death in his adopted city some twelve years later.

His first new marriage was to Sauda bint Zam'ah, a woman who had
a son and who had escaped to Abyssinia during the persecution of
the early Muslims in Mecca. She was already more than thirty
years of age and by the standards of her day was regarded as
beyond the years when most women would marry but, as Muhammad
was already over fifty, she was young enough for him. At this
time he also attached himself to the very young Ayishah who was
said to be only nine years old at the time. She was the daughter
of his close companion Abu Bakr and the arrangement may have
been made partly to cement their close ties according to Arab
custom.  Nonetheless she became his favourite wife and was the
only one of his wives not to have been previously married. She
was, despite her youth, a fiery woman who became the source of 
a minor scandal at Medina. She was left behind during a journey
back to the city and was eventually brought in alone by one the
Prophet's companions, Safwan of Mecca. The mere association of
one of his wives with another man created suspicions and rumours
and even the Prophet himself kept aloof from her for a while. It
took a revelation in the Qur'an (Surah 24.11-20) to justify her
innocence but she was considerably displeased at her husband's
initial reluctance to stand by her. As time went on she grew in
stature and was said to be a highly intelligent woman. A great
number of the early traditions of the Prophet are attributed to
her and one of the early Muslims is said to have described her
character in these words:

   I have not seen anyone having more knowledge of the 
   sunnah (practice) of the Apostle of Allah, may Allah 
   bless him, than Ayishah, nor more intelligent in opinion 
   if her opinion was sought, or having better knowledge of 
   the verses as to what they were revealed about, or in 
   calculating the fara'id (inheritance).  
       (Ibn Said, Kitab al-Tabaqat al-Kabir, Vol.2, p.481).

His next wife was Hafsah, once again the daughter of one of his
closest companions, in this case 'Umar. Her husband was one of
the few Muslims who had been killed at the Battle of Badr and
the marriage once again seems to have been one motivated not by
desire but by consideration for her personal circumstances. She
and Ayishah, both by far the youngest of his wives, became close
friends. His next two wives were Umm Salamah and Zaynab bint
Khuzaymah, the latter passing away within three months of her
marriage. Then followed Juwayriyah of the Banu Khuza'ah. Her
whole tribe had been captured in a raid and it was only her
marriage which resulted in the tribe being released without any
consequences. By this time Ayishah was becoming disturbed at the
increasing number of marital apartments being added to the
Prophet's common home and she was obviously persuaded that in
this case the cause of the marriage was the natural attraction
of a man to a good-looking woman. She commented:

   She was a most beautiful woman. She captivated every man 
   who saw her. She came to the Apostle to ask his help in the
   matter. As soon as I saw her at the door of my room I took 
   a dislike for her, for I knew that he would see her as I saw
   her.                   (Ibn Ishaq, Sirat Rasulullah, p.493).

Ayishah, whose tongue was as sharp as her wit, concluded "I do
not know a woman who was a greater blessing to her people than
she". After this Muhammad married Zaynab bint Jahsh and Mariyah,
an Egyptian slave woman of Coptic origins. Then came the
daughter of Abu Sufyan, Umm Habibah and a Jewess Safiya whose
father Huyayy, husband Kinanah and both her brothers were killed
by the Muslims at Khaibar. His last marriage was to a woman
named Maymunah though it is possible he was also married to
another Jewess Rayhanah, one of the survivors of the Banu
Quraydhah who is known to have "shown repugnance towards Islam
when she was captured and clung to Judaism" (Ibn Ishaq, Sirat
Rasulullah, p.466). Muslim writers often claim that all
Muhammad's marriages were the result purely of the Prophet's
compassionate desire to protect women bereft of their husbands
and they required a personal sacrifice on his part. It should be
remembered that his two Jewish consorts only became widows
because their husbands had been butchered by the Muslims.

Of all his marriages, however, none evoked more comment than
that to his cousin Zaynab bint Jahsh. She was originally the
wife of Zaid ibn Haritha, his adopted son, but it appears the
marriage soured and Muhammad soon expressed a keen interest in
her. Zaid was prepared to divorce her but the Prophet initially
dissuaded him. Things did not improve, however, and soon after
their separation Muhammad married her, giving her by far the
biggest wedding-feast he had given for any of his wives. A
scandal soon arose as the Arabs considered a marriage between a
father and his adopted son's wife as tantamount to incest. Once
again a timely revelation in the Qur'an justified Muhammad's
actions:

   Behold! You said to one who had received Allah's grace and 
   your favour: "Keep your wife and fear Allah". But you hid 
   in your heart what Allah was about to manifest. You feared 
   the people but you should have feared Allah. Then when Zaid 
   was legally separated from her We joined her to you in 
   marriage in order that the believers may have no difficulty 
   when marrying the wives of their adopted sons when they have 
   properly parted from them. And Allah's command must be 
   fulfilled.                                    Surah. 33:37

It appears that there was no censure of the Prophet for marrying
a divorced woman even though the prospect of her being his wife
arose even before she separated from Zaid. Jesus plainly taught
that such a union was adulterous in God's eyes (Luke 16:18) and
he is also recorded as saying that no man should separate
couples whom God had joined together (Mark 10:9).  The Bible
views divorce as something God has permitted but which he
intensely dislikes and Muhammad himself is said to have endorsed
this view:

   Ibn 'Umar reported the Prophet (may peace be upon him) as
   saying: Of all the lawful acts the most detestable to Allah 
   is divorce.               (Sunan Abu Dawufl, Vol.2, p.585).

Nonetheless the Qur'anic decree that it was Allah himself who
had willed the marriage was sufficient to satisfy Muhammad's
companions and it is said that Zaynab used to taunt his other
wives with the retort that her marriage alone to the Prophet was
said by the Qur'an to have been made in heaven.

THE JEALOUSY OF MUHAMMAD'S WIVES

Although the Qur'an only allows Muslims to have up to four wives
at a time (Surah 4:3) and only on the condition that they be
treated equally, Muhammad was given permission to take as many
as he chose until a revelation finally forbade him to have any
more (Surah 33:52). Muslim writers justify their Prophet's
polygamy by not only claiming that his marriages were all of
convenience to protect weakened women but also by saying that he
always treated them with equal care and respect. One would not
expect to find any jealousy between them if this were so but the
records of his life include a number of incidents where it is
clear that they often clashed with one another.

It appears that his marriage with Zaynab bint Jahsh was the
chief cause of jealousy between them and an incident is recorded
in his life where Ayishah and Hafsah are said to have colluded
in obliging him to decrease the attention he was paying to her.
The narrative reads:

   Narrated Aisha: Allah's Apostle used to drink honey in the 
   house of Zainab, the daughter of Jahsh, and would stay there 
   with her. So Hafsa and I agreed secretly that, if he come to 
   either of us, she would say to him: "It seems you have eaten 
   Maghahr (a kind of bad-smelling resin), for I smell in you 
   the smell of Maghafir". We did so and he replied "No, but I 
   was drinking honey in the house of Zainab, the daughter of 
   Jahsh, and I shall never take it again. I have taken an oath 
   as to that, and you should not tell anybody about it".  
                             (Sahih al-Bukhari, Vol.6, p.404).

The Prophet is said to have greatly appreciated perfumes and
sweet-smelling spices but despised garlic and other similar
herbs, so their complaint must have been very sensitive to him.
Bukhari states that this incident was the cause of a later
revelation in the Qur'an which gave Muhammad the right to revoke
such oaths:

   O Prophet! Why to forbid what Allah has made lawful to you?  
   You seek to please your wives. But Allah is Oft-Forgiving, 
   Most Merciful. Allah has already ordained for you the 
   dissolution of your oaths, and Allah is your Protector, 
   full of knowledge and wisdom.               Surah 66:1-2.

It seems appropriate to comment on the concession made to the
Prophet in the Qur'an at this point. The Bible regards the
taking of oaths as a matter of great seriousness as it is the
very appeal to God himself as a witness that makes a testimony
credible. "When you make a vow to the Lord your God you shall
not be slack to pay it; for the Lord your God will surely
require it of you, and it would be sin in you" (Deuteronomv
23:21-23). This verse in the Qur'an appears to be a convenient
relaxation of this principle purely to enable the Prophet to
change his mind.

The same verse is also said to relate to another incident where
'Umar boldly challenged his daughter on hearing that there were
times of considerable friction and tension between the Prophet
and his wives. 'Umar had been arguing with his own wife one day
and was particularly annoyed that she had the temerity to
interfere and give him advice contrary to his own opinion. Her
retort led to him discovering that Muhammad himself was being
challenged by his own wives and that they thought nothing of
openly expressing disagreement with him whenever occasion arose
to do so:

   She said, "How strange you are, O son of al-Khattab! 
   You don't want to be argued with whereas your daughter, 
   Hafsa surely, argues with Allah's Apostle so much that 
   he remains angry for a full day!" 'Umar then reported 
   how he at once put on his outer garment and went to 
   Hafsa and said to her "O my daughter, Do you argue with 
   Allah's Apostle so that he remains angry the whole day?" 
   Hafsa answered "By Allah, we argue with him". 'Umar said
   "Know that I warn you of Allah's punishment and the anger 
   of Allah's Apostle. O my daughter!  Don't be betrayed by 
   the one who is proud of her beauty because of the love of 
   Allah's Apostle for her (i.e. Aisha)".  
                         (Sahih al-Bukhari, Vol.6, p.406).

This story indicates that, notwithstanding their close
friendship and their inclination at times to jointly conspire
against Muhammad's other wives, there was even jealousy between
Ayishah and Hafsah. Ayishah was known to be his favourite wife
and 'Umar was most concerned that his daughter should not envy
her. In addition to this, however, they are even found
conspiring against Muhammad himself on occasion and the Qur'an
speaks quite sharply against their intrigues:

   And when the Prophet disclosed a matter in confidence 
   to one of his wives and she disclosed it and Allah made 
   this known to him, he confirmed a part of it and 
   repudiated a part of it.... If the two of you turn in 
   repentance to Him, your hearts are indeed so inclined, 
   but if you conspire together against him, truly Allah 
   is his Protector.                     Surah 66:3-4.

Ibn Abbas, one of Muhammad's companions, stated that he had
hardly finished asking 'Umar who these two were who had backed
each other against the Prophet when he replied that they were
Ayishah and Hafsah (Sahih al-Bukhari, Vol.6, p.408). Indeed the
tension between the Prophet and his wives was so great at times
that it appears that on one particular occasion he even gave
thought to divorcing them all at once. The Qur'an warns them:

   It may be, if he divorced you all, that Allah would give 
   him in return wives much better than you, who are submissive, 
   who are truly faithful, devout, repentant, who worship and 
   are willing to travel and fast, whether previously married 
   or not.                                   Surah 66:5

This verse is said to have confirmed 'Umar's own statement to
them that they should not think they could back each other
against their husband and think they could escape the
consequences. If Allah so wished, he could allow the Prophet to
divorce them all and give him better wives in their place (Sahih
al-Bukhari, Vol.6, p.410).

On another occasion the Qur'an again sanctioned a desire on
Muhammad's part to change his mind about a practice he had
hitherto very strongly observed. To treat his wives equally he
used to visit each on in turn, spending the whole of each
succeeding day with only one of them. A revelation gave him the
right to abandon this sequence:

   You may defer any one of them as you please, and you 
   may receive any one of them as you please, and there is 
   no blame on you if you invite one whom you have previously 
   set aside.                               Surah 33:51

Some time earlier Ayishah had expressly complained of her
jealousy towards those women who had "offered themselves to
Allah's Messenger" (Sahih Muslim, Vol.2, p.748) and who had
gradually increased the size of the household as Muhammad duly
took them as wives under Qur'anic authority (Surah 33.50). It is
probable that she specifically had Juwayriyah and Zaynab bint
Jahsh in mind. These additions meant that her own days to enjoy
his company grew further apart and, when he claimed divine
sanction to revoke his custom and take whomever he wished each
day, her frustration made her chasten him with this cutting
remark:

   "I feel that your Lord hastens in fulfilling your wishes 
    and desires".         (Sahih al-Bukhari, Vol.6, p.295).

Muhammad's many marriages have long been a source of critical
evaluation by Western and Christian scholars. Muslims on the
other hand have projected him as the ideal husband, a perfect
example and role model who always treated his wives absolutely
fairly and justly. They presumably could have had no valid cause
of complaint against him at any time yet a brief study of his
relationships with them shows that there were ongoing
dissensions, conspiracies and jealousies between them all. Far
from being an example of how polygamy can work harmoniously the
story of Muhammad's marriages tends to reinforce the Biblical
ideal of monogamy. It is not a question of whether a man can
treat his many wives equally with other, the real question is
how he can treat them equally with himself. A wife is called to
devote herself with unreserved loyalty to her one husband
(Genesis 3:16). In the same manner the husband is called to show
an equal spirit of undivided love and devotion to his one wife
(Ephesians 5:25-31).  It surely goes without saying that a
husband cannot truly reciprocate his wife's total devotion to
him if he has to divide his own affections between a host of
consorts.

Ayishah's own frustrations and jealousies. notwithstanding her
own role as Muhammad's favourite wife, are perhaps the best
evidence that he could not treat his wives equally. Her
grievances and subtle retorts were motivated, perhaps only
subconsciously, by her regret that she was not his one wife.
There is evidence that she rather than Sauda bint Za'mah was the
first woman he married after the death of Khadija (Sahih Muslim,
Vol.2, p.748) and if this is so, then her disappointments are
readily understandable. She was the only wife of Muhammad who
had never been married to anyone else and she obviously
regretted that she could not experience and enjoy the same
undivided affection she was prepared to give him.  Paradoxically
her privileged pride of place as Muhammad's favourite wife is
also evidence that he did not treat all his wives equally.

	There is more than enough evidence in his own marital
affairs to suggest that the Biblical ideal of monogamy must be
preferred to Muhammad's example of polygamy.

Taken from:

John Gilchrist
Muhammad: The Prophet of Islam
MERCSA, 1994, ISBN 0-9583905-1-7

MERCSA
P.O. Box 342
Mondeor. 2110
South Africa

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