The Dissatisfaction of Muhammad’s Wives

Being A Response to the Challenge of a Muslim

Sam Shamoun

Bassam Zawadi, in his response (*) to my rebuttal to him regarding Safiyyah (*), claims he can prove that Muhammad’s wives were happy with their marital situation. He even daringly challenges me to prove otherwise:

If I were to do so, I could write over a dozen pages showing narrations in which the Prophet's wives were pleased in their marriage and were happy with Islam even after the Prophet's death. I challenge Shamoun to show otherwise. I challenge Shamoun to show evidence that the wives wished that they had divorced the Prophet or were displeased in their marriage to him. It is all assumptions and mind games by Shamoun. That's all. Means absolutely nothing.

There is a saying: "Be careful what you ask for since you might just get it!" To begin with, the very passage that Zawadi quoted in his "response" is itself evidence that not all was well in the household of Muhammad. Note, once again, the statement of Q. 33:28:

O Prophet! say to your wives: If you desire this world's life and its adornment, then come, I will give you a provision and allow you to depart a goodly departing. Shakir

Here is how the expositors exegeted this text:

O Prophet! Say to your wives: - who were nine, and they had asked him for some of the adornments of this world, which he did not possess – ‘If you desire the life of this world and its adornment, come [now], I will provide for you, in other words, the compensation [to be provided] for divorce, and release you in a gracious manner, I will divorce you and will not coerce [you to stay]. (Tafsir al-Jalalayn; source)

As if this weren’t bad enough, notice how Muhammad’s companions treated the Muslim wives when they asked for some money:

Jabir b. ‘Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported: Abu Bakr (Allah be pleased with him) came and sought permission to see Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him). He found people sitting at his door and none amongst them had been granted permission, but it was granted to Abu Bakr and he went in. Then came 'Umar and he sought permission and it was granted to him, and he found Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) sitting sad and silent with his wives around him. He (Hadrat 'Umar) said: I would say something which would make the Holy Prophet (may peace be upon him) laugh, so he said: Messenger of Allah, I wish you had seen (the treatment meted out to) the daughter of Khadija when she asked me some money, and I got up AND SLAPPED HER on her neck. Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) laughed and said: They are around me as you see, asking for extra money. Abu Bakr (Allah be pleased with him) then got up went to 'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) AND SLAPPED HER on the neck, and 'Umar stood up before Hafsa and slapped her saying: You ask Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) which he does not possess. They said: By Allah, we do not ask Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) for anything he does not possess. Then he withdrew from them for a month or for twenty-nine days. Then this verse was revealed to him: "Prophet: Say to thy wives… for a mighty reward" (xxxiii. 28). He then went first to 'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) and said: I want to propound something to you, 'A'isha, but wish no hasty reply before you consult your parents. She said: Messenger of Allah, what is that? He (the Holy Prophet) recited to her the verse, whereupon she said: Is it about you that I should consult my parents, Messenger of Allah? Nay, I choose Allah, His Messenger, and the Last Abode; but I ask you not to tell any of your wives what I have said. He replied: Not one of them will ask me without my informing her. God did not send me to be harsh, or cause harm, but He has sent me to teach and make things easy. (Sahih Muslim, Book 009, Number 3506)

It is hard to understand how Muhammad could not have possessed the items or provisions that his wives asked for when both the Quran and ahadith say that Allah made him rich:

Did He not find you as an orphan and give you shelter? Did He not find you wandering about and give you guidance? And did He not find you in need AND MAKE YOU RICH? S. 93:6-8 Muhammad Sarwar

Moreover, Muhammad received a fifth of all the plunder taken by his Muslim warriors:

They ask you (O Muhammad SAW) about the spoils of war. Say: "The spoils are for Allah and the Messenger." So fear Allah and adjust all matters of difference among you, and obey Allah and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW), if you are believers. S. 8:1 Hilali-Khan

And know that whatever of war-booty that you may gain, verily one-fifth (1/5th) of it is assigned to Allah, and to the Messenger, and to the near relatives [of the Messenger (Muhammad SAW)], (and also) the orphans, Al-Masakin (the poor) and the wayfarer, if you have believed in Allah and in that which We sent down to Our slave (Muhammad SAW) on the Day of criterion (between right and wrong), the Day when the two forces met (the battle of Badr) - And Allah is Able to do all things. S. 8:41 Hilali-Khan

Narrated Abu Huraira:
Whenever a dead man in debt was brought to Allah's Apostle he would ask, "Has he left anything to repay his debt?" If he was informed that he had left something to repay his debts, he would offer his funeral prayer, otherwise he would tell the Muslims to offer their friend's funeral prayer. When Allah made the Prophet wealthy through conquests, he said, "I am more rightful than other believers to be the guardian of the believers, so if a Muslim dies while in debt, I am responsible for the repayment of his debt, and whoever leaves wealth (after his death) it will belong to his heirs." (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 37, Number 495)

For more on this subject we recommend the following articles:

http://answering-islam.org/Quran/Contra/mhd_money.html
http://answering-islam.org/Silas/rf1_mhd_wealth.htm

Doesn’t the foregoing prove that Muhammad did have the means to satisfy his wives’ requests but simply chose not to? Moreover, doesn’t this show that the wives were not happy with their living conditions? And what does this say about Muhammad’s character that he has to threaten them with divorce and Allah’s punishment in order to get them to do what he wants?

More importantly, the Quran states that a Muslim is not to marry multiple wives if he is incapable of treating them all justly:

And give unto orphans their property and do not exchange (your) bad things for (their) good ones; and devour not their substance (by adding it) to your substance. Surely, this is a great sin. And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphangirls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice. And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allah has made it lawful). And give not unto the foolish your property which Allah has made a means of support for you but feed and clothe them therewith, and speak to them words of kindness and justice. S. 4:2-5 Hilali-Khan

Here is the meaning of Q. 4:3 according to the commentators:

If you fear that you will not act justly, [that] you will [not] be equitable, towards the orphans, and are thus distressed in this matter, then also fear lest you be unjust towards women when you marry them; marry such (ma means man) women as seem good to you, two or three or four, that is, [each man may marry] two, or three, or four, but do not exceed this; but if you fear you will not be equitable, towards them in terms of [their] expenses and [individual] share; then, marry, only one, or, restrict yourself to, what your right hands own, of slavegirls, since these do not have the same rights as wives; thus, by that marrying of only four, or only one, or resorting to slavegirls, it is likelier, it is nearer [in outcome], that you will not be unjust, [that] you will [not] be inequitable. (Tafsir al-Jalalayn; source; bold and underline emphasis ours)

(And if ye fear that ye will not deal fairly by the orphans) and if you fear that you will not preserve orphans' wealth, you should also fear not dealing fairly with women in relation to providing sustenance and apportionment. This was because they used to marry as many women as they liked, as many as nine or ten. Qays Ibn al-Harth for example had eight wives. Allah forbade them from doing so and prohibited them from marrying more than four wives, saying: (marry of the women, who seem good to you) marry that which Allah has made lawful for you, (two or three or four) marry one, two, three or four but do not marry more than four wives; (and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice) to four wives in relation to apportionment and providing sustenance (then one (only)) then marry only one free woman (or that your right hands possess) of captives, and in that case you do not owe them any apportionment, and they need not observe any waiting period. (Thus it) marrying just one woman (is more likely that ye will not do injustice) that you will not incline to some at the expense of others or that you transgress regarding the provision of sustenance and apportionment to four wives. (Tanwîr al-Miqbâs min Tafsîr Ibn ‘Abbâs; source; bold and italic emphasis ours)

On top of this, Muhammad also exceeded the number of four wives which is a further violation of this express Quranic command! See the following for additional details:

http://answering-islam.org/Shamoun/mhd_marriages.htm
http://answering-islam.org/Quran/Incoherence/mhd_marriages.html

If this weren’t bad enough, Muhammad not only failed to treat his wives equitably in terms of expenses but also failed to deal with them justly in regards to spending equal time with all of them. The Quran granted Muhammad the right to ignore any wife he chose:

You may put off whom you please of them, and you may take to you whom you please, and whom you desire of those whom you had separated provisionally; no blame attaches to you; this is most proper, so that their eyes may be cool and they may not grieve, and that they should be pleased, all of them with what you give them, and Allah knows what is in your hearts; and Allah is Knowing, Forbearing. S. 33:51 Shakir

The commentators say that:

You may put off (read turji' or turji), you may postpone [consorting with], whomever of them you wish, namely, of your wives, from their turn [for intimacy], and consort, embrace [in conjugality], whomever you wish, of them, and come unto her, and as for whomever you may desire of those whom you have set aside, from their share, you would not be at fault, to desire her and consort with her [again]. He was given the choice in this respect after it had been obligatory for him to give each wife her [equal] share [of conjugality]. That, freedom of choice, makes it likelier that they will be comforted and not grieve, and that they will be satisfied with what you give them, of what has been mentioned of your freedom to choose [whom to consort with] every one of them (kulluhunna emphasises the subject of [the verb] yardayna, 'they will be satisfied') will be well-pleased with what you give her. And God knows what is in your hearts, with respect to [your] women and [your] preferring some [to others]. We have given you the freedom to choose [from among them] in order to make it easier for you to have what you desire. And God is Knower, of His creatures, Forbearing, in refraining from punishing them. (Tafsir al-Jalalayn; source)

The above reference led his child bride to make the following amusing statement:

Narrated Aisha:
I used to look down upon those ladies who had given themselves to Allah’s Apostle and I used to say, "Can a lady give herself (to a man)?" But when Allah revealed: "You (O Muhammad) can postpone (the turn of) whom you will of them (your wives), and you may receive any of them whom you will; and there is no blame on you if you invite one whose turn you have set aside (temporarily)." (33.51) I said (to the Prophet), "I feel that your Lord hastens in fulfilling your wishes and desires." (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 6, Book 60, Number 311)

Aisha also made another interesting comment, one that exposed her true feelings and the sadness she felt because of Muhammad’s conjugal favors and multiple marriages:

Narrated Muadha:
’Aisha said, "Allah's Apostle used to take the permission of that wife with whom he was supposed to stay overnight if he wanted to go to one other than her, after this Verse was revealed:--
’You (O Muhammad) can postpone (the turn of) whom you will of them (your wives) and you may receive any (of them) whom you will; and there is no blame on you if you invite one whose turn you have set aside (temporarily).’" (33.51) I asked Aisha, "What did you use to say (in this case)?" She said, "I used to say to him, ‘If I could deny you the permission (to go to your other wives) I would not allow your favor to be bestowed on any other person.’" (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 6, Book 60, Number 312)

Aisha wasn’t the only one who felt neglected. Umar ibn al-Khattab gave this advice to his daughter Hafsa, one of Muhammad’s wives:

… Then ‘Umar went on relating the narration and said. "I and an Ansari neighbor of mine from Bani Umaiya bin Zaid who used to live in ‘Awali Al-Medina, used to visit the Prophet in turns. He used to go one day, and I another day. When I went I would bring him the news of what had happened that day regarding the instructions and orders and when he went, he used to do the same for me. We, the people of Quraish, used to have authority over women, but when we came to live with the Ansar, we noticed that the Ansari women had the upper hand over their men, so our women started acquiring the habits of the Ansari women. Once I shouted at my wife and she paid me back in my coin and I disliked that she should answer me back. She said, ‘Why do you take it ill that I retort upon you? By Allah, THE WIVES OF THE PROPHET RETORT UPON HIM, AND SOME OF THEM MAY NOT SPEAK WITH HIM FOR THE WHOLE DAY TILL NIGHT.’ What she said scared me and I said to her, ‘Whoever amongst them does so, will be a great loser.’ Then I dressed myself and went to Hafsa and asked her, ‘Does any of you keep Allah’s Apostle angry all the day long till night?’ She replied in the affirmative. I said, ‘She is a ruined losing person (and will never have success)! Doesn’t she fear that Allah may get angry for the anger of Allah's Apostle and thus she will be ruined? Don’t ask Allah’s Apostle too many things, and don't retort upon him in any case, and don't desert him. Demand from me whatever you like, and don’t be tempted to imitate your neighbor (i.e. ‘Aisha) in her behavior towards the Prophet), FOR SHE (i.e. Aisha) IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU, AND MORE BELOVED to Allah’s Apostle. (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 43, Number 648)

And:

Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas:
that ‘Umar entered upon Hafsa and said, "O my daughter! Do not be misled by the manners of her who is proud of her beauty because of the love of Allah’s Apostle for her." By ‘her’ he meant ‘Aisha. ‘Umar added, "Then I told that to Allah’s Apostle and he smiled (on hearing that)." (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 145)

Umar’s statements demonstrate that the wives were not happy with their situation and that Aisha specifically was rather proud of the fact that Muhammad loved her more than the rest. Nor was Hafsah the only wife who was neglected as a result of Muhammad loving and preferring Aisha:

Narrated ‘Urwa from ‘Aisha:
The wives of Allah's Apostle were in two groups. One group consisted of 'Aisha, Hafsa, Safiyya and Sauda; and the other group consisted of Um Salama and the other wives of Allah's Apostle. The Muslims knew that Allah’s Apostle loved ‘Aisha, so if any of them had a gift and wished to give to Allah's Apostle, he would delay it, till Allah’s Apostle had come to ‘Aisha's home and then he would send his gift to Allah’s Apostle in her home. The group of Um Salama discussed the matter together and decided that Um Salama should request Allah's Apostle to tell the people to send their gifts to him in whatever wife’s house he was. Um Salama told Allah’s Apostle of what they had said, but he did not reply. Then they (those wives) asked Um Salama about it. She said, "He did not say anything to me." They asked her to talk to him again. She talked to him again when she met him on her day, but he gave no reply. When they asked her, she replied that he had given no reply. They said to her, "Talk to him till he gives you a reply." When it was her turn, she talked to him again. He then said to her, "Do not hurt me regarding Aisha, AS THE DIVINE INSPIRATIONS DO NOT COME TO ME ON ANY OF THE BEDS EXCEPT THAT OF AISHA." On that Um Salama said, "I repent to Allah for hurting you." Then the group of Um Salama called Fatima, the daughter of Allah’s Apostle and sent her to Allah’s Apostle to say to him, "Your wives request to treat them and the daughter of Abu Bakr ON EQUAL TERMS." Then Fatima conveyed the message to him. The Prophet said, "O my daughter! Don’t you love whom I love?" She replied in the affirmative and returned and told them of the situation. They requested her to go to him again but she refused. They then sent Zainab bint Jahsh who went to him AND USED HARSH WORDS SAYING, "Your wives request you TO TREAT THEM and the daughter of Ibn Abu Quhafa ON EQUAL TERMS." On that she raised her voice AND ABUSED ‘Aisha TO HER FACE so much so that Allah’s Apostle looked at ‘Aisha to see whether she would retort. ‘Aisha started replying to Zainab till she silenced her. The Prophet then looked at ‘Aisha and said, "She is really the daughter of Abu Bakr." (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 47, Number 755)

The audacity of Muhammad to justify his preferential treatment of Aisha on the grounds that she was the only wife in whose bed inspiration would come!

Muhammad’s wives would also play tricks and lie to their husband in order to get his attention or to keep him away from the other spouses. For example, many commentators believe that Q. 66:1-5 was "sent down" to address one such instance:

The Prophet’s household was unlike any other households. The Consorts of Purity were expected to hold a higher standard in behaviour and reticence than ordinary women, as they had higher work to perform… But they were human beings after all, and were subject to the weaknesses of their sex, and they sometimes failed. The commentators usually cite the following incident in connection with the revelation of these verses. It is narrated from Aisha, the wife of the holy Prophet (peace be upon him) by Bukhari, Muslim, Nasai, Abu Dawud and others that the holy Prophet usually visited all his wives daily after ‘Asr Prayer. Once it so happened that he stayed longer than usual at the quarters of Zainab bint Jash, for she had received from somewhere some honey which the holy Prophet liked very much. "At this," says ‘Aisha, "I felt jealous, and Hafsa, Sawda, Safiya, and I agreed among ourselves that when he visits us each of us would tell him that a peculiar odour came from his mouth as a result of what he had eaten, for we knew that he was particularly sensitive to offensive smells". So when his wives hinted at it, he vowed that he would never again use honey. Thereupon these verses were revealed reminding him that he should not declare to himself unlawful that which Allah had made lawful to him. The important point to bear in mind is that he was at once rectified by revelation, which reinforces the fact that the prophets are always under divine protection, and even the slightest lapse on their part is never left uncorrected. (Abdullah Yusuf Ali, Holy Qur’an: Translation and Commentary, fn. 5529; ALIM CD-ROM Version; bold and underline emphasis ours)

The late Iranian Islamic scholar Ali Dashti, while commenting on the conflicting reasons given by Muslim expositors regarding the subject matter of Q. 66, made some rather astute observations:

A quite a different account of the occasion of the revelation of the first five verses of sura 66 should perhaps also be mentioned. According to it, the Prophet had eaten some honey at Zaynab’s house, and after he had left, ‘A’esha and Hafsa, being jealous of Zaynab, said to him, "Your breath smells bad." On hearing this, the prophet swore that he would never eat honey again. Afterwards (presumably after he had regretted his oath), the verse of rebuke (i.e. verse 1) in the Surat ot-Tahrim was sent down, and then the principle of compensatory expiation for breach of an oath was instituted and the Prophet’s wives were threatened with divorce in the event of persistence in their jealousy and rivalry. This report is unlikely, however, to be an authentic Hadith because it omits the matter of Hafsa’s knowledge and disclosure of the Prophet’s secret. (Dashti, 23 Years: A Study of the Prophetic Career of Muhammad [Costa Mesa, Ca. 1994; Mazda Publishers], p. 138; bold emphasis ours)

And:

Every reader of the Qor’an must be amazed to encounter these private matters in a scripture and moral code valid for all mankind and for all time… Is such women’s talk, which may occur at any time and in any corner of the world, a fit matter for inclusion in the text of the Qor’an? Do not the commentators degrade God, the Creator of the Universe, to the level of a tale-bearer reporting Hafsa’s conversation with ‘A’esha? In any case, the subject of the first three verses of the Surat ot-Tahrim is a commonplace dispute between a husband and a wife. (Dashti, p. 137; bold and italic emphasis ours)

When all is said and done, this one fact remains: The Islamic source material provides conclusive evidence that Muhammad’s wives were not at all happy with their living situation, as even one modern Muslim biographer admits:

Muhammad's personal and family life were not always smooth. His wives sometimes bickered amongst themselves and even once engaged in a petty plot against him. A'ishah, for example, disliked her Jewish co-wife, Safiyah, and insulted her periodically. Muhammad had to defend her status and honor a number of times and scold the youthful A'ishah. Hafsah became jealous of her co-wife, Maria, when she found her and Muhammad resting[sic] in her apartment one day. Sawdah gave up her allotted day with the Prophet when she realized he was not really attracted to her. As for the conspiracy, A'ishah agreed with two other co-wives to convince the Prophet that eating honey made him unpleasant to be around. When Muhammad vowed to never eat honey again, she privately repented to her co-conspirators. Though these incidents were not the norm, they demonstrate that the women in Muhammad's life were as human as the rest of us. (Yahiya Emerick, Critical Lives: Muhammad [Alpha Books, A Member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 2002], p. 263; bold emphasis ours)

In light of the foregoing, is it really surprising to find Aisha herself admitting that Muslim women suffered worse than any other women?

Narrated ‘Ikrima:
Rifa’a divorced his wife whereupon ‘AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. 'Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (‘Aisha) of her husband and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by beating). It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah’s Apostle came, ‘Aisha said, "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women. Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" When ‘AbdurRahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but he is impotent and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, ‘Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah’s Apostle! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient and wants to go back to Rifa’a." Allah’s Apostle said to her, "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa’a unless ‘Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you." Then the Prophet saw two boys with ‘Abdur-Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that ‘AbdurRahman said, "Yes." The Prophet said, "You claim what you claim (i.e. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow," (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 72, Number 715)

Christian apologist and writer John Gilchrist does an excellent job of summing up Muhammad’s failure as a husband and role model:

Ayishah's frustrations and jealousies are the best proof that Muhammad could not treat his wives equally - if for no other reason that he did not regard her with the same total, undivided affection that she regarded him. She may have been his favourite wife but her grievances clearly were motivated, perhaps only subconsciously, by the fact that she was not his only wife. Paradoxically, the fact that Muhammad singled her out as his favourite wife is further proof that he did not treat his wives equally. There is more than enough evidence in Muhammad's own marital affairs to prove that polygamy cannot ultimately be reconciled with God's perfect purpose for human marriage. It is no wonder that the perfect revelation of his will through the Gospel of his Son simultaneously outlawed polygamy. Muhammad had enjoyed a twenty-five year marriage with Khadija which was, in all respects, unimpeachable. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for his many marriages at Medina and one can only sympathize with the young Ayishah who obviously regretted that she could not enjoy the same undivided devotion from her husband that she willingly offered to him… Far from the marriages of Muhammad being proof that he was the ideal husband (as Zain puts it), they rather are evidence of an inherent weakness in Islamic morality… Although monogamy has become the norm in many Muslim societies today, this trend is not to Islam's credit but is rather a sign of the consciousness of God’s real will for men and women and the best way in which a marriage can develop into a truly happy union. By taking to himself more than double the number of wives he allowed to his followers, Muhammad seems to have been something of a champion of polygamy rather than an advocate of monogamy and his tolerance of plural marriages, together with his schemes to rid himself of his personal enemies, negate his claim to be a true prophet of God. A Christian assessment of his character leaves him far short of the ideal - an ideal worked out to perfection in Jesus Christ - and the only conclusion to be drawn is that, despite his many qualities, he cannot be considered as the man God chose to be his best and final messenger to all mankind. That honour belongs to Jesus Christ alone. (Gilchrist, Muhammad and the Religion of Islam, A Study of Muhammad's Personality, C. THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF HIS MARRIAGES; source)

For more on Muhammad’s failure as a husband we recommend the following article: http://answering-islam.org/Shamoun/treatment_of_wives.htm

The worst thing about all of this is that not only did Muhammad’s wives suffer during his lifetime, they continued to suffer long after his death since they were forbidden by the Quran from remarrying, which is itself a contradiction to the plain teachings of God’s true Word, the Holy Bible:

"Thus a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress." Romans 7:2-3

"A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 7:39

"Honor widows who are truly widows. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God. She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. Command these things as well, so that they may be without reproach. But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work. But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith. Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. For some have already strayed after Satan. If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are really widows." 1 Timothy 5:3-16

And, as we noted in our previous rebuttals, some of them lived to be in their middle ages without the joy and intimacy of family, having no children of their own to raise and to love. They died lonely all because of one man’s prophetic hallucinations and aspirations. How tragic.